When I first started using B.O.T in my meetings with women around births and fertility treatments, I was so grateful for how it made those sessions more focused and beneficial. It worked like magic. I was excited and very curious to learn more about what makes those shifts and feelings of expansion possible. When I saw how well it worked for me professionally I started using the tools on myself. Choosing to use daily occurrences as gates to my inner world.
But the thing I found most fascinating was the side effect of those personal sessions. Not only B.O.T usefully helped me carry forward the issues that seeked my attention, (such as daily decision making, or understanding a difficulty to proceed with a project, or processing strong feelings that came up), something else followed those sessions, that I didn’t expect. Each time following a personal session, for a while I was more efficient with my time. I was able to cook happily for my family, and was more creative about it.. I felt like doing things I forgot how much I loved. I felt the urge to create things with my hands again, like pottery,painting and sculpting.
Something about the work of B.O.T was arranging for me to meet parts that were buried somewhere in me. some of them were buried so deep, that I didn’t even remember they were once there. Somehow I forgot about them even though in the past many of them were focal in my life and were thought of as crucial to my definition of self. I suppose so much has happened to me during those intensive years of becoming a mother, raising three kids and running my business as self employed, that without giving it much thought I stopped being in touch with those parts in me.
When meeting issues that catch my attention in a bodily way (through body felt sensing, as we do in B.O.T and Focusing), I also get to meet other parts in me, that lie beneath that initially troubling issue. (And not always can I see a logical connection between the issue I was processing, to the area in my life which gained it’s vitality again.)
If I try to put the image I have of it into words, I would say that it feels as though when something difficult happens to me that isn’t processed, it gets shoved inside to a safe place in me, so I can go on in my daily life and function. But when that ‘thing’ goes down, along with it, it also pulls or covers other parts in me. And later on when the time comes that I’m resourced enough to meet that ‘thing’, and allow the stopped process to move forward, along with it, those sleepy parts in me that were covered or shoved down are also released to their natural flow and vitality. They come back to being an active part and reunite with the rest of me as a more aware whole self. When that happens, the immediate outcome that I experience is a sense of lightness, joy, and aliveness.
As a fun side effect of B.O.T, I started listening more to music again, and really enjoy dancing freely to it.. I even started rollerblading, and painting. My heart is in a constant blessed process of opening up to myself and my surrounding. My inner voice changed from constant judging, to a softer mothering voice, that is more patient and forgiving. I try to mother my self, the same way I would like to mother my children, with patient listening and willing to provide with what’s necessary for my well being. I found out that close listening to myself enables me to be significantly more attuned to my family, friends and clients. After many years of practicing yoga, meditation, and Jewish spiritual studies (Yemima) I realized that I wasn’t really listening.
B.O.T for me is a daily way to practice listening. And for that I’m truely grateful.
In our growing community of B.O.T facilitators we enjoy each other’s ‘B.O.T mode’ of listening for each other, and regard this on going support as the best working place benefit we could ask for.
**The field of birth includes the time line of wanting to become pregnant, through pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Relevant professions that will greatly benefit from Birth Oriented Therapy training may be Birth Doulas, Midwifes, Obstetricians, Gynecologists, Breast feeding consultants, Post Partum Doulas, and Therapists who wish to learn about the uniqueness of the field of birth.